Fights Over Spaghetti and the Last Clearance T-Shirt....Is This Who We Are?

This week two disturbing videos surfaced in my news feed. My heart was heavy after viewing the way young black women were portrayed and ultimately, the way they conducted themselves.

Here are the videos before I say my peace.

I don't even know how to describe my frustration. Wait....yes I do.

First let me say that I was not present at either altercation, and do not know any information other than what was displayed in the videos. Much of the commentary associated with the first video seemed to be in defense of the two young girls who were said to have been "provoked." I can see that. There was no visibly just cause for calling them animals for eating on a subway. Simply minding your own business would have prevented this situation. As someone who was verbally harassed and demeaned on a NYC subway, I understand the struggle to keep composure when pushed to the edge. I only really began to take issue with this video after I saw the second clip. There seemed to be an interesting theme, "black girls fighting=entertainment."

The girls on the subway were being harassed, yes. Any reasonable person would have been defensive, true. But what played out here, goes far beyond a mere subway scuffle, which is what made this video worthy of being but on YouTube, with over 100,000 views. It's the dynamic. Angry black women vs......whomever really. We can never get enough of that right? No one stepped in (until all hell broke loose) to mitigate the situation. Again, I say this as someone harassed on a train when again NO ONE offered so much as squeal of support. But sadly, it seems that's just the world we live in now. If it doesn't concern me, I'm keeping my mouth closed. Oh, but I will pull out this camera and have you caught out there on YouTube looking senseless. I will lend you a hand with that.

And this second video. Acting a H.A.M in a business establishment as though it were a scene from Fight Club. Punches thrown, merchandise vandalized, weaves flying every which-way. Is this who we are? I'll answer that... no! But this is how the world continues to see ALL OF US, as a result of the select few and that truly irks me. I don't say this looking down on these individuals because, again I was not there to witness the events that transpired leading up to the physical altercations, but I'm willing to bet it just wasn't that serious. And how can I blame these girls anyway. Is this not the same behavior we see aired weekly on Bad Girls Club? Basketball Wives? Jersey Shore....need I go on?

It seems that winning the title of "the baddest" reigns supreme over "the brightest," which is just stupid. I'm not sitting here waving my little judgmental finger over everyone. I had a hand in this as well. I watch these shows...well not Jersey Shore, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, while I thought I was just being entertained, it seems we are being conditioned to believe this is the way women settle disputes. We name call, we demoralize, we humiliate, we fight. We just can't help but tear each other down and take pleasure in the presumed victory. I can just hear these girls now "yea, I beat that (insert words here), and its on YouTube!" No...please take a seat in the nearest super-glued chair. To use my very best English, this ain't winning.

But the reason these videos scored so many hits on YouTube is the same reason these deplorable television shows get the highest ratings...even over scripted programming. Why do we enjoy seeing women tear each other down?

There wouldn't be as much issue with these shows if they were the exception and not the rule. But there are far fewer positive portrayals of women on television, particularly women of color to combat these negative images. As a result, life imitates, well if I can even call it art.

And with bystanders so willing to pull out a camera phone to make some quick cash from worldstarhiphop, it won't be long before the next aspiring Bad Girls Club castmember auditions via a YouTube street brawl.

I don't have a thought provoking question as I usually do to close this post.

It's actually more of a rant. But I like to hear your rantings as well, so please leave a comment.

Let's love each other ok? :-)

And I feel the need to make this disclaimer:

My feelings on these videos are far more complex and more in depth than what this blog post can explain. I've been a black woman for a long time so I can't possibly sum up the whole of my feelings in a few minutes. But it's enough to get a conversation going...so talk to me!

Are We Being Too Rough on "The Game"

Not everyone was pleased when the hit sitcom "The Game" returned to cable television with record-setting ratings. Sure, I expected that. There's always a critic. But, its been 8 weeks since the show's return and feedback has been steadily less than flattering.

I initially voiced by concerns with the new, more dramatic format of the show in a past post, but eventually came to terms with new changes. However, negative whispers about Kelly's new attitude, a soap-operaesque plot, and the Brit-brat swap have been festering consistently since season 4's debut and its truly beginning to worry me. This coupled with so-so ratings and the fact that the show has not yet been confirmed for a 5th season has me wondering are we in danger of losing the show again?

I've thought seriously about some of the complaints that I've heard, and it all seems quite trivial in the larger scheme of things. We are in a television era where Jersey Shore ranks as the highest weekly rated show for cable TV and yet, we take issue with The Game? Someone help me see the light, please! This baffles me.

I wouldn't be surprised if the shade thrown at The Game's new season is provided by those who hopped on the bandwagon. At any rate, the actors on the show are aware of the mixed feelings of "fans" who have reached out via Twitter, and the cast has urged them to direct their comments toward the powers that be at BET.

I partly feel as though social media's involvement in the show's return is beginning to backfire. Roughly two years ago, Game fans on Facebook and Twitter united to lead an ambitious campaign for The Game's return. And obviously it worked. However, I think there was a price to pay. It seems as though viewers have become to invested in their presumed "power." Because they were responsible for the comeback, they feel a sense of entitlement to the shows content. Sure every fan has right to their opinion, but we can't expect for it to be adopted as law.

Furthermore, people have to get used to change. Hello! Things change. They just do. In this case the show can't win for losing. If they hadn't changed a thing, I'm sure some would have said the new season ran dry. Now that they've stirred the pot, people don't like the recipe. Sigh...

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with voicing opinions. In fact, most shows encourage social media heads to "watch and discuss." The key thing here being to watch.

Anyway, I say all this to say. Discontentment cannot cause us to disengage. What a shame that would be after all of this right? Bottom line is there are about two handfuls of reality Tv shows we should probably be petitioning against right now....and we're not. Why?

Why are we being so rough on The Game?

Now What Now?: Tyrese On Love and Marriage

I was enjoying an afternoon snack browsing my Twitter timeline when some foolishness popped up in a retweet. I don't follow Tyrese, though I do have much love for him as a musician. However, as a relationship counselor, I sometimes wish he would sit all the way down.

Before I weigh in, you know I like you all to read for yourself. Start from the bottom up.





Sighs...

Ok, I can't tell you how many times I've heard these same sentiments uttered from a modern-day male on the dating scene. I've even gotten hit with the "I can't date you, you're wifey material" line a couple times myself. What frustrates me about this mindset is that it eliminates the element of responsibility on the part of the gentleman. It's one thing to work together to build a relationship, but to suggest that women patiently wait for a man to "get it together" while he lives it up and does his dirt, just so at the end of the day she can win the ultimate title of wifey with a couple kids to boot is just pure stupidity. Yea I said it!

I disagree with Tyrese's challenge to women to "make us a better man." I'm sorry, I don't have super powers. If you lack the self-control and will to better yourself, than I lack the endurance to stand by and watch you flounder. I must move on to the next. I realize my tone may seem a bit callous and frank, and well... I'm not arguing with you there. But I will say, that I'm not heartless. I fully believe in looking at the present as well as the potential, but potential requires effort to become promising. And this "i'm a playa, but when I do get ready to settle down, the first one i'm calling is you" attitude is making promises with no effort.

Tyrese's friend was with his girl since they were 16, and although she "shared" him, when he was ready to grow up he married her and they have two children. And this is all because she waited. The problem is that you could be waiting for a day that will never come because in waiting, haven't you already proven that you tolerate this behavior? And wouldn't that increase the wait because why change? You're still around right?

I know plenty of stories where both parties in the relationship were young and just a mess and when they were older they put away childish things. It happens. But, the thought of being jerked along for the roller coaster ride when you can be elsewhere doing you is just irksome.

You shouldn't put the diamond on lay away if you know you can't afford to pay. Leave the treasure for someone worthy and willing to pay full price. Just sayin.

I could very well be wrong, doubt it though. Anyways, as always, these are just my thoughts.

But I'd like to hear yours.

It's a Thin Line...

Satirical video of the "Real Housewives of Civil Rights" raises eyebrows in the midst of black history month.

What do you think? Funny, or gone too far?

Leave your thoughts....

The Trendsetters: African-Americans on Twitter being heard, but not saying much

If you've been a user of Twitter for any extended period of time than you know that trending topics are the "what's happening and when" of the popular social network. Trends include hot topics about what everyone is watching (Grammys) to the major news of the moment (Egypt). But more and more, certain topics are sounding like something picked from a round-table discussion at the family reunion. For example, #blackparentquotes or #ifsantawasblack. Subjects that appear to be created by and targeted toward African-Americans have become so frequent that they were given a nickname, "black tags". But why are #blacktags so popular you may ask?
Well, a recent article on rollingout.com cited a study from Edison Research's Annual Report saying...

Although black people comprise about 12 percent of the general population, they account for 25 percent of the population of users on Twitter. As a consequence, they tend to follow celebrities and post more trending topics. On Twitter, for example, young blacks follow more people, retweet more often, and reply to posts more frequently causing certain topics to rise in popularity that have nothing to do with breaking news or information.

Since this report, many articles have sprouted up online condemning Twitter's black culture for their lack of "consciousness" with regard to trending topics, and suggest that users are in need of a wake-up call. Indeed there are many opportunities made available through the use of social media and there is something powerful to be said about the influence of black culture on Twitter. However, though 25% might start a topic, its not enough to keep it going if no one else catches on. Nonetheless, many are saying African-American users are not taking advantage of their wide influence.

Trending topics like #ghettobabynames have become the norm, but what many don't realize is that social media can often provide a safe space for hate, where bigomists, racists and the like can promote their values without reprimand. And they do. Many of these individuals use racially aimed TT's, that were perhaps intended for comedy, as ammunition for their corrupt values. Discussing the differences between black and white parents might be of normal comedic conversation between friends, but when broadcast to millions of users without understanding of the context, the conversation and the message becomes diluted and can get lost fairly quickly. I had to learn this the hard way.

But while the topics on twitter largely consist of subjects representing an unfavorable depiction of black culture, I have to disagree that African-Americans aren't at all using their voice on twitter for ANY good. Afterall, it was their voice that led the social media campaign to bring back yet another wrongfully canceled black sitcom "The Game" after two years off the air. Other more positive topics that have trended include #mlkday to commemorate Martin Luther King's birthday and #unsung a TV show honoring black superstars who's stories were never told. Ultimately, they are using their influence to raise awareness about subjects that otherwise would not reach beyond the consciousness of African-Americans. However, I believe that this is only scratching the surface. The more positively skewed topics that do become trends lack the depth of other trending topics related to socio-political issues, and trend far less often. There is so much more good that can done and my hope is that black users begin to utilize their influence to bring about positive changes.

The issue with this mission, is that for one, how does Twitter determine the ethnicity of their users? It isn't requested when signing up for account. I only assume by the nature of the content that the trending topics are started by a black person, but how can this be proven? Furthermore, users would need to be on one accord to spread knowledge about what's going on in black communities across the US and worldwide. But the truth of the matter is that social media has different uses and gratifications for different people. Some use Twitter to get news and information about the world around them, while others use it to spread information. And then are those who have less strategic uses for Twitter and simply view it as a leisure activity. And any user can employ a variety of motives for Twitter use at any time. So, I guess my question is how does this change occur?

Yes, the foolishness needs to stop, but will it? Who knows.

What are your thoughts?

"They should've burned it" TV One's Cathy Hughes on Precious and other things

While visiting one of my fav blogs Necole Bitchie, I ran across an interview with TV One's Cathy Hughes from Miss Drama TV.

The station's front woman spoke very candidly and honestly about her thoughts on positive vs. negative portrayals of black women.

I'll let you watch the video before I say my peace.

Check it out here:


Ok, hopefully you watched it.

Now...

Half the time I was nodding my head in concurrence with Mrs. Hughes and shaking it in disagreement the other half. I too was displeased with the fact that the highest honor given to any entertainer (Academy Award) was awarded to Monique and Halle for two of the most negative portrayals of black women we've seen. I might not have felt this way when Hattie McDaniel received her award because, at that time, it was one of the only roles available for black women. But times have truly changed, and despite the difficulty I do believe black women have more options. I agree that we should be telling more positive tales of black women, a la the story of Michelle Obama. (Seriously, where's the script on that?) And while it's great to see black women being recognized for their achievements, its unfortunate to have one of the highest achievements stained with the black ink blot of knowledge that your role is one that perpetuates negative and villanous stereotypes of women you claim to represent.

The ironic thing about Mrs. Hughes' comments though, was that she failed to see how Tyler Perry has also fallen victim to this pattern of betrayal and how her own network is neither exempt nor blameless. More recently, many have come out to declare their disdain for Tyler Perry's works (*ahem* Spike Lee) and amid the criticism, he still remains thee top selling creator of black films. But while his films introduce topics of spirituality and moral consciousness rarely visible in today's media, they are also inter-laden with characteristics of stereotypical black life. His alter-ego portrayal of Madea is the epitome of a modern day mash-up of the historically derogative "Mammy" and "Sapphire". Yet, Hughes suggests that his ability to deliver a positive message through humor offsets the depiction of the "Angry black woman."

Do you agree?

Furthermore, Hughes expresses her feelings on BET's role as being #1 in black entertainment saying that she felt BET missed a lot of opportunities to showcase new talent, which she says is to her benefit as TV One is able to learn from the mistakes BET is making, thus delivering better programming and more positive portrayals of African-Americans, particularly black women. Again, Mrs. Hughes I disagree...in part. Has anyone seen "Love that Girl?" I know I have ranted on this show once before, and don't want to get into that again but it honestly is one of the most disappointing shows I've seen in a long time. The stereotypes extend beyond black women to homosexuals and I fail to see the point of it all.

Anyway...

I have been watching BET since I was young and since Bob Johnson's exit stage left, I have seen improvement in the network's quality of programming. Granted, they still have far to go, but they have eliminated disparaging shows like "UnCut" and have successfully introduced a positive spin on reality television with shows like "The Family Crews." Again, there were errors along the way. (I think we were all mad at Frankie and Neffe, but some see the positive in any situation.) At any rate, the network has indeed showcased new talent by joining the race to revive the black sitcom.

I don't want to come off like I'm taking sides because I definitely am not getting a check from BET nor TV One. But rather, I want to highlight the senselessness in the competitive spirit that often resurrects itself between two black entities at the top of their game. This "crab in a barrel" nature is what I believe is tripping us up. I am NOT accusing Mrs. Hughes of this, but her comments did leave me feeling this way. If ABC, CBS, and NBC can coexist for over 50 years than I have to believe the same is possible for BET and TV One. Has it not been established that our competition is not each other? The threat is the alternative powers that be that are trying to choke off our voices entirely or worse, speak for us.

Both networks have done a GREAT job of providing alternate programming geared toward African-Americans. TV One's "Unsung" is truly in a class of its own and BET has scored a major hit with the "The Game." Moreover, that both of these networks have women as the HBICs is esteeming in itself. (B stands for Boss, don't get it twisted) Debra Lee and Cathy Hughes are remarkable women for fearlessly taking on such as task. I hope both networks can continue to excel.

So now the spotlight is on you. What do you think about Mrs. Hughes' comments? Monique and Halle's Oscars? Tyler Perry? And BET vs. TV One?

For Valentines Day: All Time Fav TV Couples

In the spirit of love, I decided to post my all time favorite TV couples! Whether you've got a love connection of your own this Valentine's Day or you're flying solo (again) you can at least find solace in the love of these dynamic duos.

1. Lucy and Desi (I Love Lucy)
I was a big 'I Love Lucy' fan. Not only were they the funniest pair on television, they were also one of the first onscreen interracial couples. Although their relationship seemed more like one between parent and child than husband and wife due to Lucy's antics getting her in trouble, you couldn't deny the love between these two. Onscreen they slept in separate beds, but the arrival of "Little Ricky" during the second season suggested there were other arrangements at home. (wink)

2. The Huxtables (The Cosby Show)
There was no better example of black love than Mr. and Mrs. Clair Huxtable during their TV era. Both at top positions in their fields, Cliff and Claire's respect for each other as equals and parental partners made them arguably the most beloved couple on TV. They were the perfect balance for one another, always in harmony. Well, accept when a visibly upset Mrs. Huxtable would burst into a Spanish rant. But even while speaking another language, you knew Cliff completely understood the nature of the conversation.

3. Martin and Gina (Martin)
Martin and Gina's romance was sizzling! They always knew how to keep things fresh and interesting. It must have been tough maintaining their relationship within a larger circle of friends, but they sure made it look easy. You've gotta love a couple that can make fun of each other and know its all love at the end of the day. Who can forget Gina's visit to the dentist where she returned looking like she just got it in with Mike Tyson and lost, right before Martin's award at his high school reunion. He may not have wanted her there, but Gina showed up to support her man with her famous line, "You Go Boy!"

4. Florida and James (Good Times)
Raising a family in a Chicago housing project may not sound like fun to you and I, but the Evans household was full of good times. Despite raising 3 kids under financial hardship, Florida and James always found a way to survive. Their love was resilient and indestructible, which is why we truly felt Mrs. Evans' pain when she lost her husband in a fatal car accident in Jackson, Mississippi. "DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!"






5. George and Weezie (The Jeffersons)
It takes a patient woman to love George Jefferson. He was quite chauvinistic and arrogant, but only one woman could see through his facade. None other than Weezie Jefferson. We first fell in love with the couple as the Bunkers' neighbors on CBS' All in the Family, but it wasn't long before the Jeffersons moved on up to their very own deluxe apartment in the sky. For 11 seasons fans enjoyed wise-cracking George and lovable Weezie on the hit sitcom that still today stands as the longest-running sitcom featuring a predominantly black cast in the history of American television.






6. Laura and Steve (Family Matters)
Steve was probably the most obnoxious human being on television, but you couldn't help but admire his unconditional love for Laura Winslow. So what it took him YEARS to win her heart. After 8 seasons and a beautiful distraction (Myra), the final season finally brought these two together. Laura who received two proposals, had found love on a two-way street and was forced to choose between Steve Urkel and his more attractive, less-annoying alter-ego Stefan Urquelle. In the end, she followed her heart and she and Steve eventually became engaged. I still would've picked Stefan, but hey...spilled milk right?


7. Corey and Topanga (Boy Meets World)
Raise your hand if you wanted their relationship? ...ME TOO! It was a love at first sight that went the distance...literally. Cory and Topanga survived high school, college and Topanga's move to Philadelphia. And though the young couple struggled through their first year of marriage due to financial hardship they always managed to find their love. They were so fun to watch and really made us TGIF!









8. Vince and Jess (Friday Night Lights)
I understand you may not be familiar with these two, because honestly, I've just gotten hip to this show myself. But it has very quickly become one of my favorite shows! Sadly, it ended its 5 year run last Wednesday just as things were getting good :-(. But don't fret, you can catch up this spring when the last season airs on NBC. Jess and Vince, though teenagers, have one of the strongest relationships I've seen portrayed by characters their age. These two had an ambiguous history that led to a promising future. Of-course with a few bumps along the road. Vince was a prison-bound knuckle head when Jess reentered his life. He wanted her back, but she was in another relationship. But as fate would have it, a traumatic loss would land Vince in Jess's comforting arms and B-O-O-M...fireworks! Jess stood by Vince through the loss of his best friend, his mother's drug habit, and his incarcerated father's dramatic return. Their shared passion for football and love for one another made them one of the steamiest duos on the small screen. If you think you have them figured out, you don't know the half! Be sure to check them out!

9.Rochelle and Julius (Everybody Hates Chris)
These two can go down in history as one of the funniest couples on television. Raising 3 children in Brooklyn, NY in the 80s sure made for some great laughs in the Rock household. When Julius wasn't counting pennies and Rochelle wasn't knocking her children into their next lifetime, they were perfecting their roles as solid parents to a young future comedian, Chris Rock and his younger siblings. Their tough love for their children enabled them to remain a strong family unit that was able to escape poverty in a crime and drug-infested neighborhood. I hate that the show was canceled.


10. Derwin and Melanie (The Game)
Now you knew this list would not be complete without the most talked about couple on TV. Ding-dong and MedSkoo! We have seen these two through some serious highs and lows and have been along for the whole roller-coaster ride. And what a ride it has been. Despite infidelity, injuries, a turkey baster, and baby mama drama Derwin and Melanie just can't seem to let each other go. Relationships don't get any more real than theirs. We thought we'd seen the last of the drama now that Derwin put a ring on it, but we should've known better. We know who we're dealing with and the new season is serving up all the drama we know and love them for. We ain't seen nothing yet!


Ok, what do you think of my list? Who did I miss? Any surprises? Snubs?

Leave your thoughts!!!

This Just In...

Lipstick sales are down 5% while nail polish sales are up 15% since last year grossing $173 million dollars. As you know, I have a thing for nail lacquer...ok call it an obsession. Before I was old enough to wear nail polish, I would put stickers on my nails (LOL). But that embarrassing nugget is beyond the point.

These stats got me thinking what is the recent fascination with our fingertips? An ABC special calls it "a sign of the times." Makes sense. Celebrities have just about endorsed every other beauty product from fragrances, to makeup, to hair dye. Nails were all that's left.

I must say that my nail hobby has saved me quite a few bucks at the nail salon. I believe in becoming more self-sufficient for all beauty needs including hair. In times like these should we really be shelling out $50-$100 bucks every 2 weeks at the salon and an extra $20-$40 on nails, eyebrows, lashes, etc? Probably not.

I personally never spend more than $3 on a nail polish. I don't care how much you pay the polish probably won't last past 5 days so why spend a fortune? Unless you're a monochromatic girl, which clearly I am not.

At any rate, now might be a good time to invest in O.P.I. stock #wordtothewise ;-)

Where are all the girl groups?

I was listening to a song online today and I had no idea who it was. So, I looked them up. The song was called "Get Your Swagger Right" by Rich Girl. I was surprised to find that it was a girl group and not a solo artist, which got me to thinking...

WHERE ARE ALL THE GIRL GROUPS?!

It seems like since Beyonce, Michelle, and Kelly fulfilled their "destiny" there hasn't been a truly successful girl group.

Sure, we had the Pussycat Dolls, but there were just too many to count and keep up with, and they all ended up blending in with each other.

Then there was Danity Kane, but they suffered the curse of P. "Can't Make a Band" Diddy. (sigh)

There was also some group Electrik Red, but they just seemed like a bunch of pretty girls stuck together.

The dynamics of a music group are always difficult as there is always someone who must stand out as the lead. Dealing with egos, varying salaries, fan bases, and personal issues can lead to disaster if not treated carefully.

Very few have managed to be successful and maintain longevity. But even the best of things must one day come to an end.

Here's my run down of some of the best girl groups

1. Martha and the Vandellas

Everyone always notes the Supremes, but Martha and the Vandellas were quite successful in their day. You may know some of there hits like "Heatwave," "Nowhere to Run," and "Dancing in the Street."

2. J.J. Fad

Who can forget their upbeat, funky hit "Supersonic." It made them the first female rap group to receive a Grammy nod.

3. SWV

SWV is undoubtedly one of the best female R&B groups of all time. SWV stood for "sisters with voices" and that's exactly what they were! Their smooth melodies were undeniable!

4. Brownstone

Bump what you heard, Brownstone was the ish back in the day! Those harmonies were insane!

5. Destiny's Child

You knew Destiny's Child would make the cut, but I have to say they had stiff competition like Total, and Xscape. But there was nothing like the original DC3. I still miss them. I hate when groups disband for solo careers :-/

Here's the song I was listening to earlier that started all of this.

	RichGirl - Swagger Right .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

We need to bring back the girl groups!

Women I Admire: Simmons Family

I haven't done a "Women I Admire" post in a while. When thinking about this one I thought, Oh, the Simmons sisters! But then I thought, there's Kimora and then there's Justine! So...I decided to do a family post (LOL).

I may have been the only one, but I was a big fan of Run's House. They didn't seem to be your average stuck up "celebu-spawn" with no sense of reality. Angela and Vanessa appeared to be young women with their heads on straight who, despite having loads of money, still had work ethic. So much so, that they launched their own sneaker line "Pastry" in 2007, which has grossed somewhere around 50 million dollars. Not to mention they are both just twenty-something.

Even though they got a little help from Dad and Uncle Russell, they are business powerhouses in their own right and make a conscious effort to be role models for young women. It's always refreshing to see young ambitious women making it happen for themselves without sacrificing their values. Gotta love Ang and Ness!

The two obviously took a page from their fab Aunt Kimora Lee Simmons, who at the ripe age of 13 began modeling for Chanel. After capturing the modeling world by storm, she went on to conquer fashion, launching Baby Phat in the late 90s. She nurtured the brand for nearly 10 years, but recently shed the Baby Phat in 2010.


I love Kimora because she didn't let such a huge blow defeat her. She let us know that Baby Phat is not her only claim to fame and reminded us that she made the brand and the brand did not make her. She's moved on to bigger and better things like her hit reality series "Life in the Fab Lane" as well as her multiple fragrances, jewelry line and new, mature clothing line, KLS. She's a true renaissance woman balancing family life with her husband and three kids, with her booming business in fashion and entertainment, and on top of it all, still manages to make it all look so fabulous! I love the "go-getter" in Kimora.

And then there's Justine, the loving matriarch of the Simmons clan. What I love about Justine is that she reminds me so much of my own mother. She married Joseph Simmons who had 3 children from a previous relationship and loved and supported the children as if they were her own. Justine never struck me as the typical "look-at-me" hip-hop wife. She was grounded and made sure to keep her family grounded in spiritual values. She's more concerned with the well-being of her family than being known in the industry. It's no wonder the children are so successful. They obviously have the best cheerleader in their corner. Go Jus!

There's a Limit to My Love

Photo Credit: fashioncappuccino.com

I saw these shoes online and the first thing that popped in my head were the lyrics to Keri Hilson's Breaking Point. (LOL)

Surely my ankles will be at a breaking point if I ever got nerve enough to rock these bad boys. I love heels, but there's a limit to my love and it ended 3 inches ago.

Here's Keri Hilson's Breaking Point Video. Sing along if you feel me.
"There's a limit, there's a limit..." (snaps)

All About Choices

I can rattle off a few cliches about choices.
"We are the sum of our choices."
"Choose wisely."
"The choices you make today, decide tomorrow."
Blah, blah, blah....blah blah!
Today I've come to the realization that I have a problem with choosing. The funny thing is that I only have a problem making insignificant decisions.

The big stuff is rather easy.
I mean I decided what car I would get in a matter of minutes.
I chose the college I would attend without reservation.
And I moved into an apartment I'd only seen pictures of online with no issue.
Yet, I will spend an hour trying to decide between the gray shoe or the brown.
Sigh...
If you've visited my blog for any length of time, you've probably noticed that the design keeps changing.
No, its not because I have nothing better to do than play on my blog because it actually is getting in the way of other stuff (SMH), but its because I can't decide on a design!
This blog is supposed to represent me. But let's face it. There's no way this limited profile can really, honestly, and truly represent me. Although, my changing it everyday does say something.
I should just get over it right?
Maybe so, but then I'll be on to the next indecisive task like picking a nail polish color. (Don't get me started on that!)
I'd like to blame my indecisiveness on me being a perfectionist, but I'm not sure that's the reason.
Anyway, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem.
So here's my confession...I'm indecisive, but only about little things.
I've gotta overcome this though, because it seriously is a time-waster.
Alright, that's it.
From this day forward, I will do better about making decisions in a timely manner.
That felt good.
I'm deciding to end this post now.
Good day...

Reality Check

I had a host of errands to run today. Of them was a quick and necessary long trip to the mall to grab some stuff for this crazy weather.

(It was -2 in Syracuse this morning!)

I decided I was going to spend one of my Christmas gifts, a gift card to H&M.

I was in need of warm clothing, but also want to make the most of the $25 card.

It was the longest time I've ever spent in a store.

I tried on countless items and was getting so frustrated.

Ladies, you know how we can beat ourselves up in the dressing room! Yea, I was having one of those days.

But then I looked to the right of the mirror (that does no one any justice) and saw the most appropriate and sweet little note inked on the wall.

It read:

Whoever wrote it was a thoughtful genius because it seems like no matter what size you are, trying on clothes is always a self-deprecating experience.

Thankfully, I got a reality check today!

Let's Stay Together...I sure hope so.

Photo Credit: poptower.com

BET's night of premiere's included the much anticipated season 4 premiere of The Game and new original series, Let's Stay Together.

Let's stay together managed to hold on to 4.4 million viewers left over from The Game's premiere.

That's pretty good for BET's first real scripted series.

I love the concept for Let's Stay Together, which is a show about the lives of two young couples and a single woman as they go through the different stages of relationships.

The show features some very talented actors Bert Belasco, Nadine Ellis, Joyful Drake, RonReaco Lee, and Erica Hubbard.

You may remember Joyful from Hair Show and PhatGirlz, Erica from Lincoln Heights, and RonReaco from Sister Sister.

The first episode seemed a little corny, but it has a lot of potential to be a great show.

I love that the show is making the monogamous relationship something to be desired again. If there's anything black families need nowadays its to stay together.

I'm excited to see where the show takes us.

Hopefully the ratings for this show as well as the The Game will stay consistent. We've already showed that we want the return of the black sitcom, but we've gotta watch to prove it.

I sure hope we can keep it together.

The Game Serves Up a Record Breaking Premiere

Photo Credit: costmag.com

The most anticipated night in television took place last night with the return of "The Game." 7.7 million viewers tuned in to watch Ding-Dong, Med School and the whole gang reconvene for a drama-filled season 4 premiere, and they did NOT disappoint.

However, there was a lot of mixed feedback on my Twitter and Facebook feeds about the show being over-the-top. Maybe so, but they had a lot of hype to live up to and could not take the chance of being underwhelming after a two-year wait. And with all the pressure to perform, I definitely think they rose to the occasion.

I had to watch the show on my DVR several times just to soak it all in. The overall production has definitely stepped up their "game." From the set design, to the writing, music and wardrobe, the show has turned it all the way up. And the storyline is juicier than ever. I LOVE IT! And despite what qualms people have with BET, I have noticed the steps they are trying to make in the right direction...kudos.

But back to the show.

The last time we saw the gang Kelly and Jason had just finalized their divorce. Fast forward two years and the former Kelly Pitts is still enjoying her new found freedom and independence and finally living high off of Jason's dime. She's even filming a reality show to establish her own identity called Ex-Ballers Wives, much to Jason's chagrin. Hmm where have I seen that before? (LOL) Jason's not doing so good though. He and Kelly are bickering non-stop and his standing with the Sabers is on the rocks as well. It seems that as the divorce settled, so did the reality that losing his marriage would subsequently cost him his family and his career. I don't know about you, but I'm still pulling for these two. It ain't over til I say its over! (TEHE).

The biggest change in the Pitts family would have to be the casting change of their daughter Britney. Lots of people expressed their disapproval for the new "Brit-Brat." I, too, like the old Britney but come on folks. There are a lot of legalities that go into having children on TV. Its two years later and no parents in their right mind would up jump the boogie to Atlanta for their daughter to only play a recurring role. I'm sure we will get used to this older pop-tart Britney in no time.

Thankfully, Tasha Mack is still Tasha Mack, serving up all the quick-witted punch lines that we know and love her for. But there's no Rick Fox this time around :-(. She's got a new boo, Dante played by Terrence J. He did his thing despite however uncomfortable it was viewing his pre-pubescent body making out with a grown woman, but I guess it's a part of the dynamic. It's no easy task keeping up with firecracker Ms. Mack but Terrence J certainly held his own. Only time will tell how long this relationship will last.

With Terrence J came a host of other cameos including Meagan Good, Sheree Whitfield and Chris Webber. The guest appearances were slightly excessive, but its understandable. I mean it is the premiere people! And with so many fans of the show I'm sure people were busting down BET doors to get one of the coveted spots.

Meagan Good did a nice job playing the role of the Saber owner's wife that Malik is smashing. It suited her so well. Now don't sit there and judge me like you thought this role was a stretch. What can I say...its what she's "good" at (LOL). Seriously though, I would LOVE to see her express her range some more by playing something other than the jump off or girlfriend. I'd like to believe she's selling herself short and has more to offer, but I just need to see it.

Sheree, however, was as random as cameos came. I know they are filming in the ATL, but we're still supposed to believe the Sabers are in San Diego and Sheree was just an unnecessary reminder that we were in Atlanta. And was that Rick Ross barely understandable at the top of the staircase of Malik's house? Anywho...

I thought Chris Webber did a GREAT job as the sports announcer interviewing Jason Pitts. If he doesn't have a job sportscasting someone should snatch him up. But there was a teenie pet-peeve that was introduced in this scene that remained obvious, at least to me, throughout the entire remainder of the show....THAT DARN LAUGHING TRACK.

Was it me or was it too low? It's like they wanted to laugh, but not really. There were a lot of hilarious punch lines that fell through the cracks because of the unenthusiastic laugh track. I really hope they fix that, because it made some of the jokes awkward. The laugh track lets the live audiences and viewers at home know that this is your cue to laugh. I didn't realize how necessary it was until now. But I digress.

Mama Mack's baby boy is back living life in the fast lane, but it seems he may need to slow down. Due to an injury setback, he is no longer the Sabers' franchise player. And Lik-Lik is having a hard time coping with the change. He's also having difficulty getting used to his sidekick and everyone's favorite flunky Tee-Tee, who has retired as Malik's b...h boy and has a new gig as a businessman. (He owns a chicken truck)

Malik refuses to take Tee-Tee seriously and still treats him like a wing man. He even ignores Tee-Tee's advice to lay low about sleeping with the Saber owner's wife (Meagan Good). Malik adds to his disregard for Tee-Tee by also getting it in with Tee-Tee's girlfriend Allison. And let me just say Malik has gone TOO FAR. It's bad enough to be sleeping with the owner's wife, but doubling up with your best-friend's girl? Come on Malik! Why are you playin?! But this is why I love The Game...for keeping it real. The reality is a lot of famous athletes have Malik's same mentality, that "the rules don't apply." But of course, every dog has his day and I think Malik will soon reap the consequences of his selfish and reckless ways, and Lord have mercy on him when he does.


But if you thought that was drama, then you must not know Derwin and Melanie. Fast forward two years after the wedding from hell and the ill-timed birth of Derwin's son and the two are a married superstar couple adjusting to the lime-light and blended family life. Melanie has put medical school on hold to be a glamorous baller's wife and though I'm disappointed she sacrificed her career for his, the plot remains true to the lives of real athletes' wives who postpone their dreams to be supportive wives and mothers. And I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of Dr. Melanie Barnett-Davis.

Melanie's not the only one glammed up to keep up with new superstar Derwin Davis. Janay is back and loving the perks of being a baby mama and has amped up her game as well...and I love it! But it wouldn't be the Davis household without drama. Melanie is still not satisfied playing second fiddle to Derwin's son and is convinced Janay is just out to get what she has. She allows her doubts about Derwin Jr. (DJ) to get the best of her and against advice from Tasha, gets a paternity test for now two-year-old DJ. Well lucky for her, the results came back negative...YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER! Melanie tells Derwin little DJ isn't his, crushing him, but perhaps she shouldn't have spoken so quickly. It seems her hookup at the clinic made a mistake and Derwin is in fact the father of Derwin Jr. (BOOM) How is Melanie gonna fix this one?

Will she tell Derwin? Or will she be consumed by the thought of finally having Janay and DJ out of their lives forever?

Ooo wee! We shall soon find out!

Can't wait til next Tuesday

Will you be watching?

Love That Girl...wish I could.

Photo Credit: shavarross.com

With all "The Game" frenzy ensuing as the 4th season premiere approaches, I somehow managed to catch TV One's original series "Love That Girl." And I have to say I was not impressed. In fact, I was very disappointed.

I tuned into the pilot season last year and wasn't liking what I was seeing. I even though the show got canceled after poor ratings. But no, somehow it survived the pilot season and crept its way into the line-up of new shows in the new year.


Yes, I know there aren't many black sitcoms on the air, although they are starting to resurface, but I can't support a show that's just not good.

And the fact that Martin Lawrence is behind this just adds insult to injury.

Perhaps I should stop ranting and say what issues I have with the show. But let me start with what I do like. I have always been a fan of Tatyana Ali. I've followed her from Fresh Prince to her web-series Buppies and even supported her short-lived music career. But sadly, she is the only thing this show has going for itself.

Tatyana's brother on the show played by Alphonso McAuley (Fat Albert, Glory Road) is funny, but over-the-top. His jokes would go over much more smoothly if not coupled with his unnatural enthusiasm. It made you not want to give him the laugh because he worked too hard for it.

But the two homosexual cast members make McAuley look like Ben Stein, the guy from the Clear Eyes commercial. I'm so over the foo-foo, hyper-feminine stereotype of gay characters. They are obnoxious to say the least.

Oh, but the show has enough stereotypes to go around. "Amunique" is the quintessential rainbow haired, ghetto hoochie with no sense working as a secretary in a business office. And by working I mean spending all day on the phone.

The storylines are unique at best, but are overshadowed by over-the-top characters with eccentric stereotypes.

Unfortunately, I'll be deleting this show from my DVR. Martin should have done better smh.

Lyrics are Lessons: Are you open to learn?

No commentary...just lyrics.

His Will: Destiny Praise

Are you in bondage to the status of nice things
Addicted to the attention and the compliments they bring
Feeling the weight of growing debt with each bill
That's not His Will
That's not His Will

If that's not you then maybe this one's on point
Still need a drink or you gotta smoke one joint
To get thru the pain of all the heartache that you feel
That's not His Will
That's not His Will

It's not a trial, It's not a test
God wants for you, His Best
But not until you submit to His Will

Do you need validation wrapped up in false love
So you sneak out, to the strip club
Knowing that nothing there can ever be for real
That's not His Will
That's not His Will

Maybe you think that you will find it in someone
So you sleep around hoping each time that you're done
But that one is not found and you're still trying to heal
That's not His Will
That's not His Will

It's seems unfair,It's so much stress
God wants for you, His Best
But not until you submit to His Will

He heard your crying tears
He knows your silent fears
He wants to just renew
His relationship with you

Don't be afraid of facing everything inside
Even the guilt, wrapped up in pride
God will step but He's waiting until
You're in His Will
You're in His Will

Don't you give up, don't settle for less
God wants for you His Best
But not until you submit to His Will

Jesus is waiting

To reveal His plan for you for real

But it won't happen

Til you stop and submit to His will
Will, Will, Will

Have You Ever Eaten Your Words?

Photo Credit: theslimdiva.com

I was organizing the tags on my archived posts when I came across one about Tiny and Toya titled "Baby Mama Love"
Here were my thoughts...

"So has anyone seen the trailer to Tiny and Toya's new show? If you have please tell me wtf its about. I guess Toya is tryna put her name on the map and Tiny had to find something to do while T.I. is locked up but really? I guess I should blame BET for supporting this nonsense but I can't say i'm surprised. What's sadder, the fact that this is really a show or that I'm probably gonna be the first to watch? SMH."

Ouch! (LOL) Well, I was right about one thing...I was the first to watch. (SMH) But contrary to my expectations, the show was not the disaster I'd anticipated. In fact, i actually enjoyed it.

I can admit I prejudged the show and the women. The show was more about Tiny and Toya as individuals rather than them as extensions of their famous counterparts, but with all the debauchery that is female reality TV, I expected the worst...like a reality TV lovechild of Frankie and Neffe and Basketball Wives. Thankfully, such wasn't the case.

The women really seemed to be clear about their intention for the show as a means to set the record straight about their roles as "so and so's" baby mama. The record being, don't call them that. (Ya heard?!) The show even tackled issues in family life such as parents with issues of drug abuse (Toya's mother) and mental disease (Tiny's father). It wasn't the usual over-the-top show and tell of wealth mingled between dramatic cat fights *ahem* (Real Housewives of Atlanta). Anywho, it was...dare I say real?

With all the Amber Rose's and Kat Stacks' of the world on the hunt for the next gullible millionaire entertainer or athlete with a Napoleon complex exchanging money for validation from a beautiful woman, the show portrayed a more down to earth take on life as a trophy wife, exposing realities not so appealing to those looking for, in the words of Tasha Mack, the 3h's: homes, hedge funds and hummers.

Tiny struggled to help her mother cope with her father's Alzheimer's disease, while simultaneously holding down the home front while T.I. continued his stint in jail. (We'll have to address his latest return to the pen for a later post...I can't go there right now).

Toya tried to support her mother through rehab after years of drug abuse in their hometown of New Orleans, LA and re-establish herself as an individual after her high-profile relationship with Lil Wayne.

All the while the women SUPPORTED each other through their trials (imagine that) and raising their children. The show was about family and self-identity.

Ok, enough already right? All I'm trying to say is that I probably shouldn't have written them off so quickly.

Now, here's to hoping they don't do anything to cause me to retract this nice post. *fingers crossed*

Jeremiah 31:3

Wow, what a love. When its difficult to show love, dwell on this. What makes someone undeserving of love? Is it their words? Their actions? Their flaws? If so, then we all are undeserving.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

(Romans 3:23)

Love is often misunderstood as just a strong emotion. Love is an act of faith not based on feelings or circumstances. If we would only look to the greatest example of an expression of love in God and Jesus Christ we could follow it.

An everlasting love takes everlasting practice.

Everyday i'm trying to show people a God kind of love.

Can't say I'm there yet, but let's keep on striving.

Curly Sue, I Miss You

Curls, I have not seen you since late August and I miss you dearly. Winter weather has driven a wedge between us, but I look forward to seeing you soon.

That is all...