Now What Now?: Tyrese On Love and Marriage

I was enjoying an afternoon snack browsing my Twitter timeline when some foolishness popped up in a retweet. I don't follow Tyrese, though I do have much love for him as a musician. However, as a relationship counselor, I sometimes wish he would sit all the way down.

Before I weigh in, you know I like you all to read for yourself. Start from the bottom up.





Sighs...

Ok, I can't tell you how many times I've heard these same sentiments uttered from a modern-day male on the dating scene. I've even gotten hit with the "I can't date you, you're wifey material" line a couple times myself. What frustrates me about this mindset is that it eliminates the element of responsibility on the part of the gentleman. It's one thing to work together to build a relationship, but to suggest that women patiently wait for a man to "get it together" while he lives it up and does his dirt, just so at the end of the day she can win the ultimate title of wifey with a couple kids to boot is just pure stupidity. Yea I said it!

I disagree with Tyrese's challenge to women to "make us a better man." I'm sorry, I don't have super powers. If you lack the self-control and will to better yourself, than I lack the endurance to stand by and watch you flounder. I must move on to the next. I realize my tone may seem a bit callous and frank, and well... I'm not arguing with you there. But I will say, that I'm not heartless. I fully believe in looking at the present as well as the potential, but potential requires effort to become promising. And this "i'm a playa, but when I do get ready to settle down, the first one i'm calling is you" attitude is making promises with no effort.

Tyrese's friend was with his girl since they were 16, and although she "shared" him, when he was ready to grow up he married her and they have two children. And this is all because she waited. The problem is that you could be waiting for a day that will never come because in waiting, haven't you already proven that you tolerate this behavior? And wouldn't that increase the wait because why change? You're still around right?

I know plenty of stories where both parties in the relationship were young and just a mess and when they were older they put away childish things. It happens. But, the thought of being jerked along for the roller coaster ride when you can be elsewhere doing you is just irksome.

You shouldn't put the diamond on lay away if you know you can't afford to pay. Leave the treasure for someone worthy and willing to pay full price. Just sayin.

I could very well be wrong, doubt it though. Anyways, as always, these are just my thoughts.

But I'd like to hear yours.